The death of Steve Jobs has been affecting me much more than I anticipated. Just like everyone else, I knew Steve's days were numbered, yet, I didn't really prepare myself.
Instead, I did what I sometimes do to unconsciously protect myself. I put my feelings aside and kept ignoring emotions as though they didn't exist.
When the news broke, I was terribly shocked, but not surprised. At the time, I was very sad, but I think I didn't process the information right away. Again, I think my brain blocked my feelings to protect me.
As I watched Apple's celebration of Steve Jobs in Cupertino yesterday, I couldn't help but feel immensely sad, my eyes filling with tears. A few of them eventually fell on my face.
How did I get there? How can I be so affected by the death of a man whom I had never met? A man that, mind you, I had very much disliked for many years.
Yes, for the longest time, I wasn't a big fan of Steve Jobs. While I respected the work he had been doing, I really disliked the man as a human being. Steve Jobs was a real asshole. A dictator. A selfish and egocentric man with little regard for the feelings of others.
I remember reading about Steve Jobs' return to Apple several years ago. The article told the story of how cutting the company's philanthropic program was one of the first thing he did upon his return in 1997. As an avid Windows user at the time, and someone with great respect for Bill Gates' charity involvement, I thought Steve Jobs was just what I always had assumed: a big asshole...
