Apple Unveils New iPhone 3GI

A little over a month after the launch of the iPhone 3GS, Apple unveiled a newer model called the iPhone 3GI. The “I” stands for Invisible, as it is only visible to Apple’s most loyal customers.

The Onion really did a great job at putting up this fake story that I think is absolutely hilarious.

Here are some my favorite excerpts:

In a move expected to revolutionize the mobile device industry, Apple launched its fastest and most powerful iPhone to date Tuesday, an innovative new model that can only be seen by the company’s hippest and most dedicated customers.

“The new 3GI is as light as air,” said Apple senior vice president Philip Schiller, reaching inside an empty display case, apparently to remove the mobile device. “See how thin that is? It’s like it’s not even there.”

“Those who really understand what we do here at Apple are going to love this new product,” Schiller continued. “Unless, you know, they happen to be totally lame.”

Retailing for $599, the iPhone 3GI offers only the most special Apple consumers—the ones who believe in the company more than anything else in the world, and who would never, ever dream of questioning it—the ability to open dozens of powerful applications at once. In addition, the new multimedia device will provide true Apple fans with a high-definition video camera, one-tap editing with Final Cut Pro, and cut and paste.

“Daddy isn’t talking into anything at all,” said 4-year-old Ella Conrad, pointing at her father, Paul, who has been obsessively staring at, playing with, and customizing the invisible phone since purchasing it Monday. “Daddy’s pretending to be on hold with an operator.”

Check out the Onion for the full story.