Look at that piece of crap. The “iPhone 4S.” What was Apple thinking? I waited 16 months for this?

Look at it. Sitting there. Looking exactly like the iPhone 4. It’s glaring at me like I’m supposed to welcome it with open arms. I hate you, iPhone 4S! You suck.

Seriously, I can’t believe that I waited and read all of the rumors for… this. It’s like someone took an iPhone 4 and made it more awesome on the inside. I wanted it to be more awesome on the outside, too! There’s absolutely no reason that all of my iPhone wishes should not be fulfilled by Apple. I’m a loyal customer; Apple owes it to me. I didn’t ask for the iPhone 4S.

Never mind the fact that, had Apple called it the iPhone 5, I would have probably not been this upset.  Never mind the fact that the 4S actually delivers major advances in both hardware and software. I wanted a new physical design and I wanted LTE. My current iPhone has gotten so slow and ugly over the past year.

I’m so pissed right now! The iPhone 4S totally sucks. Did Apple think that adding the blazing fast dual-core A5 processor, incredible camera, intelligent antenna with HSDPA+ speeds, ability to run on both GSM and CDMA networks, 64GB option, and revolutionary voice recognition/dictation technology would be enough? How could Apple do a thing like that to me.

I wanted aluminum. I wanted my iPhone to be tapered like an expensive suit. I wanted it to make me breakfast and flush for me after I use the toilet. I just wanted the iPhone 5. Was that too much to ask?

But instead I get this: 4S. Apple had to go and stick to the same numbering system that it’s held to since the first iPhone. This year should have obviously been different. This year was supposed to be special. I’m on the verge of tears right now. Can I tell Siri to wipe my tears away? Apple probably forget that command.

There’s nothing special about the iPhone 4S. You wanna know why? Because it looks just like the iPhone 4. I don’t care about the fact that it’s got the most impressive internal specs, best build quality, and most competitive price point of any smartphone on the market. Apple didn’t call it the iPhone 5, and that’s all that matters.

Dear iPhone 4S, you suck.

Now when do pre-orders start again?

  • LOLZY

    Fanqueers, if that comment was directed at me;

    Wow,
    First no my life does not evolve around a release date, nor does anyone else’s, writing that was a personal mental exercise, and I already picked out several flaws in my argument construction.

    Did I wait 16 months to be wowed by apple, no I did’nt, i’ve been involved in 4 different projects, won funding from local and national government, and started 2 social enterprises. All of which serve my community.

    “Until they release a new concept, it will be the same old interface on the same old junk hardware”, on what level is it junk? is that not an entirely personal choice? Different people find different things appealing.

    “If consumers weren’t so stupid, they’d boycott the Iphone 4s and even the 5 until Apple releases something innovative”
    Please define innovative, because i’m pretty sure that a company doesnt make a £500 phone that sells in that quantity around the world if its just crap.
    Boycott a phone, because they did’nt make a new design that has sold so well.

    Your last comment defies logic. Are you under the impression that a company with billions in profit and thousands of employees relies upon one individual to design their products?

    May I just ask, why is it that you hate the iPhone so much? you are compelled to tease out a fault and to use that to say its “crap, useless, etc…”

    As for the argument of a closed ecosystem, I prefer some form of quality control, and I must admit that there are certain aspects of the phone im not happy with, but its a tool, it gets the job done, furthermore it gets it done in a way which is easy for ME, to a point where I am willing to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a phone.

    • Fanqueers

      Actually, my comment was for the author of the blog.

      • Fanqueers

        And yes, boycott it. Repackaging an existing design isn’t exactly innovative. Almost every tech company out there is guilty of the same crime. When Apple released the first gen IPhone, that was an innovative and changed the way phones were used.

        My comment does not defy logic. Steve Jobs was the visionary for that company and came up with many of the ideas himself. The only reason Apple is worth billions is because they broadened their horizons in 2001 with the iPod release. Their computer hardware was failing miserably compared to the PC market hence the reason they changed their name to “Apple” from the name “Apple Computers.”

        Watch the movie “Pirates of Silicon Valley” and you will understand more.

  • Apple really screwed this whole thing up…
    I am about to switch to Android based Samsung Galaxy S2. F.ck, I am not going to buy 4s for sure and i can not wait for iphone 5 neither.
    What were they thinking? Idiots…

  • Loved the article and it hits on exactly what a lot of people are mad about when it comes to the iPhone 4S — it doesn’t look any different from the 4. There are a certain number of Apple fans out there who — by God! — want their new toys to look different from last year’s models as (oddly) status does play into their thinking is one way or another. Indeed, they feel let down because that shiny, new 4S looks almost exactly like my 4. What’s inside the case doesn’t matter quite as much as being able to pull out a phone that is obviously the newest Apple out there.

    By the way, the Android bashing going on around here is a hoot, largely because it seems a few people mocking Google’s OS haven’t actually used it. Android is a great OS, but here’s the problem with Android — you’ve got to do your research or you’ll wind up with junk hardware, a two-year contract with a cell phone company and a bunch of tears (just ask anyone who was suckered into buying a Sony-Ericsson Experia X10 last year about how much they like their phones, for example). Buying an iPhone is a different breed of cat — you know the hardware is going to be solid and will perform as well as every other iPhone on the planet.

    Regardless, my next phone will run Android. If you pair that OS with good hardware, you’ve got a phenomenal machine on your hands. My iPhone 4 has served me well over the past 1.5 years but iTunes (dead slow on a Windows machine, won’t work at all on a Linux computer), the “one size fits all” approach to hardware and Apple’s constant attempts to thwart jailbreaking are deal breakers.

  • dan

    revolutionary voice recognition/dictation technology lol so my free android phone that ive had for a year now has this feature i think iphone is just a dinosaur

  • Juan Romuelo

    calm down , this is just IPHONE 4S!!!! that happened with all the other iPhones too , for example the iPhone 3Gs , SAME THING AND ITS JUST A PHONE!

  • Pete

    i AGREE! the 4S BLOWS! friggin Siri is a joke. I got it because Artificial Intelligence means just that it is supposed to get a little smarter each time by learning the user a little more. NOPE! My siri actually gets dumber and makes me dumber in the process! I waited for this and it not only looks the same it IS the same with a couple new tricks. What a waste of an upgrade!

  • mike is right

    Now minus the sarcasm….still no 4g, teeny tiny screen makes one squint during movies…someone ran over to me to show n tell iPhone 4s siri option….lmfao it didn’t work once out of 4 tries in very quiet environment. Still won’t give up EVO 3D for this…oh and I have ipod touch for 2 years and don’t even bother with it cuz I prefer android market over app store.

  • mike is right

    Now minus the sarcasm….still no 4g, teeny tiny screen makes one squint during movies…someone ran over to me to show n tell iPhone 4s siri option….lmfao it didn’t work once out of 4 tries in very quiet environment. Still won’t give up EVO 3D for this

  • Bater

    The short bus has arrived

    • mike is right

      So get on it

  • Ed Hammond

    This was my first iPhone (Since I am loyal to Sprint and unlimited data) and I’m ready to return it after one day.
    Even after the IOS5 upgrade the OS feels old and dated, it still looks the same as it did on my kids’s generation 2 ipod touch.
    My HTC Evo 4G had a huge screen compaired to this and it’s 2 years old!
    I read that the Galaxy 2S has a 4.5″ screen and a better camera. I should have got that.

  • Apple Fanboy

    “…best build quality, and most competitive price point of any smartphone on the market.”

    mhmmm right, then explain this.

    http://youtu.be/pFYyprm7OCI

    “…the fact that it’s got the most impressive internal specs…”

    Don’t make me laugh

    http://www.gsmarena.com/compare.php3?idPhone1=4212&idPhone2=3621

  • some guy on his inspire

    Want a sandwich? An ice cream sandwich?!!??

  • Vince

    Ok… It DOES have 4G lol!!! Just ask any AT&T store.

    • mike is right

      It does not have 4G…I’m looking at specs…Google it…but im sure u were smart enough to find out b4 u bought…lmao…what a maroon!? Evo 3D costs more…I’m done with u.

  • Vince

    Ok… It DOES have 4G lol!!! Just ask any AT&T store. Oh, and it is great. I’m using it right now. The people who hate the iPhone the most are people who can’t afford it.

    • scotty

      i phone sucks in every way my galaxy samsung 4g 8mp camera blows it away whoosh

  • David

    Ok, all sarcasm aside. I am sitting in front of both the Iphone 4s and the Galaxy s2. I have been using both in the REAL WORLD for a week. Even though I have been an Iphone guy since the beginning I can’t justify drinking the kool aid any longer. Compared to the Galaxy the 4s is an antique. The camera is not as good no matter what the specs say. The volume is as bad as always. Siri is cool if it can connect but very unreliable. Android has several options almost as cool and much more reliable. I don’t care what the specs are on the 3.5 screen, it’s a joke to the naked eye compared to the Galaxy.
    The proximity sensor on the Iphone has the same problem as the 4. Apple never fixes anything, they just deny it til it goes away.
    Apple really blew it this time. If they hadn’t waited so long to release the 4s no one would have noticed the deficiencies. But by waiting 16 months everyone expected the next best thing. Currently 4s returns are through the roof and climbing while Android is on a steady climb. Unfortunately the engine that pulled apple out of the dirt the first time is dead and gone. The current management is crap.

    • Vince

      None of those were actual facts lmfao? Baddie

  • Nead Digger

    Agree 100% I passed on the sucky 4s and went with the new Galxy android 4 which blows my cousins 4s out of the water and slaps it silly! Android RULES apple has worms!

  • Budro

    The “4G” claims AT&T makes is not true 4G speeds.
    It’s only slightly faster 3.5G (HSPA+), perhaps 6mbps tops.

    Here again we see shady marketing from AT&T.

    4G speed test from my HTC Thunderbolt on Verizon LTE.
    College Station TX to Dallas TX – 38.85mbps Down, 3.41mbps Up
    College Station TX to Los Angeles CA – 30.10mbps Down, 3.07mbps Up
    Tested using Speakeasy Speed Test.

    I guess Apple will remain behind the curve for yet another year.

  • applesucks

    Apple just sucks! Good night losers…

  • AppleRocks

    Dude, u guys, isn’t the iPhone 3 and 3Gs the same? U weren’t complaining back then… U see Apple hasn’t done anything wrong, it’s u who’s expecting more and more.

  • Rick

    iphone 4S = iphone for suckers !!!!

  • Stupid people buy phones with less capabilities and far behind the edge (like the iphone 4s) for many bucks, instead of a high class peace at the edge of technology (like the samsung galaxy s2) for fair money only because of the name apple. Don’t realizing that there are some few which make big money out of that. Ok for people who do not work hard for its money its ok. But for people who work hard for its money this is just ridiculous:-)

  • Yeah, it’s a phone but still doesn’t take widescreen videos or photos just crappy low res pictures that aren’t even high quality enough to upload to to an online service to create Christmas cards. No navigation, no 4G, proprietary garbage that limits its users.

  • Anonymous

    Iphones can suck it they sorry I`m an Android for life they never disappoint also android is open source they love us enough to so us the inner works for SDX developers.
    Iphones all for old people anyone using the iphone you being lied to Android is killer and winner X50
    100% true get off of the bandwagon join android also I love that green android dude

  • Hrvoje Radošević

    did anybody understand what guy who wrote this wanted to say…….i dont think so….soo just read this and all will be clear:
    ˝I’m so pissed right now! The iPhone 4S totally sucks. Did Apple think that adding the blazing fast dual-core A5 processor, incredible camera, intelligent antenna with HSDPA+ speeds, ability to run on both GSM and CDMA networks, 64GB option, and revolutionary voice recognition/dictation technology would be enough? How could Apple do a thing like that to me.˝
    THIS IS STILL THE BEST PHONE EVER!!!!!!!!!

  • Why my phone is better:
    -1260×720 pixels (That’s right 720p HD).
    -1.5 Dual-core processor.
    -4.3 inch screen (More of an opinion here, but I like it. The iPhone’s screen is way too small).
    -Beats Audio makes music sound good (Oddly enough, even better with Sol Republics).
    -Photos are sharper (But colors not as vibrant).
    -Verizon 4G LTE is blazing fast.
    -Better battery life (I tested this by fully charging the 4S and my Rezound and played the 100 hours of Nyan Cat video on wi-fi, my phone lasted 30 minutes longer).
    -Flash player (Though I’m not able to play games that require a keyboard, there are a few good games I can play. Like Red Remover, for example.)
    -Freedom of customization

    Why the iPhone is better:
    -Thinner
    -Easier to put in pocket
    -More accurate touch screen
    -Available on 3 carriers

    Keep in mind, I’m not saying that Android is better than iOS or vice versa, because that is purely opinionated and fair to judge. If I were to judge it, I would say my phone has the better OS. But like I said, opinions.

  • One thing I forgot, iPhone has more apps and more complete apps. The Marketplace is like a ghetto version of the app store.

  • Hello. I am from the slight future. iPhone 4S helped Apple sell (not ship, sell, unlike how every android brags about ship because it means lots are sitting on shelves) 37 Million iPhones last quarter. Because of the iPhone 4S Apple has seen a 80%ish jump in sales year over year.

    So yeah, the slight future loves iPhone. If you don’t love iPhone too then you should go suck a widget or something.

  • Anas Rifai

    LTE will drain your battery faster than you can say iPhone 4S sucks. The 4S’ battery sucks as is, therefor, apple decided to forgo LTE until a power efficient chip is available. I bought a 4s and I am not as happy with it as I was with the 4. 3G is still fast for almost anything you really need while on the move. I tried an android Samsung before I decided to exchang it for the 4S and simply put: iPhone sucks less 😉

  • Anonymous

    I hate my 4S, it doesn’t work anywhere near as fast as my 3gs, it always seems to have problems, it stops working all the time. I have to shut it down and re-but it atleast 2 times/day to get it to send a text, an email, ANYTHING! AND, the battery life really really sucks!! My 3gs could go for days without needing a cherge. My 4s cannot even get through a day without being charged. It comes out of its charger at like 7:30am and by noon, it only has like 25% battery or less left!!! I want my 3gs back!!!!!!!!!!

  • The most impressive internal specs of any phone on the market? Was he kidding?? It wasn’t even true when he wrote the article and surely isn’t now

  • I have an iPhone 4s I hate it it is horrible and I regret ever giving up my droid. Stupid fucking peice of shit phone I hate it so much!!!!

  • Ugh, pay for everything, programs I actually use randomly erase off of my screen and autocorrect makes me look like an uneducated asshole on a regular basis. I can’t wait til my next upgrade then seyonara peice of crap worthless iPhone!!!

  • Bugman

    Having just dumped this pos on my mother-in-law in favor of a Galaxy S3, I can honestly say he’s right – it sucks.

  • I hate this phone, its a royal pain in the ass to use. I can’t see the writing the keyboard is too small and it’s pain trying to navigate on it. Rumors touch was far easier to use, even with it’s annoying gliches. I always have to go on youtube to figure the damm thing out. I know I will figure it out, I don’t want my beautiful daughter to get upset since it was a thoughtful gift! For now it’s frustrating.

  • My iphone is crap! I am supposed to access itunes from the phone but it will not accept the password. Of course the password is accepted when I sign in from my computer. ?????????? The stupid thing is that when you have a problem you cannot CALL a person and get it fixed. For the price of these phones you should have a help center staffed by humans. I am tired of trying to fix these problems by going through a bunch of idiotic search engines.

  • Jim

    Why when I upload a new update my iPhone loses all my personal applications and all my mp3s? Wtf apple? Bite me!

  • Zane Smith

    This phone is total crap. I’ve had mine for less than two years and now it can’t download apps, music, or even go on youtube. I’ve come so close to smashing countless times at this point

  • Steve Hardman

    The author sounds like a classic iphone wanker and I’m guessing he doesn’t have a girlfriend.