Judge Koh to Apple’s attorneys: are you smoking crack?

You have to feel for US District Court Judge Lucy Koh. For the past three weeks, she’s had to listen to attorneys from both Apple and Samsung argue over boring technology patents.

On top of that, she’s had to put up with the non-stop shenanigans from both side’s legal teams, such as bickering, stalling, and tedious requests. And today, Koh finally had enough…

Earlier this afternoon, Apple’s attorneys handed in a 75-page briefing covering some 20 witnesses. But with only a few hours left of court time, Koh was livid at the outlandish request:

CNET has the hilarious exchange:

“I am not going to be running around trying to get 75 pages of briefings for people who are not going to be testifying,” U.S. District Judge Lucy Koh told Apple’s lawyer Bill Lee.

“I mean come on. 75 pages! 75 pages! You want me to do an order on 75 pages, (and) unless you’re smoking crack, you know these witnesses aren’t going to be called when you have less than than four hours,” Koh said.”

Smoking crack? As a lawyer, in court, what do you say to that? Lee responded:

“First your honor, I can assure you I am not smoking crack.”

Good answer. Lee went on to say that Apple had no intentions of burdening the court, and they believed they could get to most of the witness. But of course, he complied, and said they would pare down the document.

Tensions are obviously running high in the waning days of the trial, as both sides have just a handful of hours left to plead their cases. The good news is, Koh seems pretty intent on finishing this thing on schedule.