16 Reasons the iPad Sucks

By , Jan 29, 2010

The iPad sucks! That’s what I said to myself after watching Steve Jobs reveal what was said to be the most important device of his career. I felt let down! I expected so much more from this tablet. Maybe I expected too much from it. The iPhone has set the bar so high that we are now used to being amazed and surprised by Apple. This announcement sure was a reality check!

The general opinion about the iPad is not as good as good as Apple probably expected. I ran a poll yesterday on the blog (take it if you haven’t yet). The majority of you was pretty disappointed and didn’t even think they would buy an iPad when it’s for sale in a couple months.

There is no shortage of reasons why the iPad sucks. Let’s go over some of them here.

The name sucks! The first thing my fiancee told me about the iPad? “Honey, I think I’m getting my iPeriod, do you have an iPad for me?” It doesn’t take a marketing genius to figure out that the iPad is a terrible name for a product. I plan to write a blog post about the worst jokes ever about the iPad so if you have some funny ones, please email them to me.

The network sucks! While I personally don’t have any problem with AT&T, most people don’t agree with me, so I guess it’s fair to say that sticking with AT&T was not the right decision for Apple. They could have gone with T-Mobile, or Verizon (even though I think the iPad or iPhone will never ever go to Verizon) and everybody would be happy. Apple is not a company that aims at making people happy though. It aims at making Steve happy!

No Flash! Alex of Applicious says it all: No Flash on the iPhone was barely tolerable. On a device that you call Internet-specific to not have Flash is more than annoying, it’s insulting. Flash, love it or hate it, is one huge slice of the Internet. This is not optional.

No multitasking! During his presentation of the iPad, Steve Jobs called netbook cheap laptops. Guess what Steve, I might have a “cheap laptop” but I’m currently typing this post on it with 2 Firefox windows opened, TweetDeck, a Word Document and Flickr Uploader running at the same time. Can your iPad do that? Netbooks are fulfilling a need. The iPad is not. It’s just struggling to create a one. Not having multitasking on the iPad really sucks.

No camera! If you’re going to create a mobile device for Mom and Pops, you’d better give it at least a front facing camera because Mom sure loves to Skype her daughter. I didn’t expect a back-facing camera on the iPad, but I sure hoped for a front-facing one.

It’s big! Of course it’s big, it’s the purpose of it. Still, I’m confused. Does Apple have to license plus-size pockets as an official iPad accessory?

It’s heavy! At 1.5 Lbs, I don’t think you’re gonna be able to hold this baby for 2 hours without developing a tendinitis.

No Video Output! If you thought about plugging your iPad in your TV to watch a slideshow of your latest vacation’s pictures, then think again because it’s not going to happen.

It’s not pretty! Let’s be honest for a minute, the big fat bezel around the touchscreen is ugly.

The keyboard sucks! I didn’t expect the iPad to have a physical keyboard but that won’t prevent me from complaining about it. I hate typing on my iPhone and something tells me I’ll hate typing on the iPad even more because it simply isn’t convenient. When I type on a keyboard, I like to have the screen facing me, not laying down flat because it is unpractical and in the long run, it will most likely cause pain in the neck and back (I’m serious).

No USB port! Did you want to plug your digital camera into your iPad to download your pictures. Too bad. Oh wait, you’ll actually be able to if you buy the $30 adapter Apple will be selling. That is mafia-style racketing.

No 16:9! Watching movies on the iPad is going to suck as it will render the movies in 4:3 aspect ratio with big black bars around it.

No Widgets! Ok, the iPad screen is huge but it actually feels empty. Why don’t we have widgets on this thing? Sticky notes, calculator, whatever widget?

The battery sucks! I don’t believe Apple when they say the iPad has a battery life of 10 hours. They were praising the iPhone 3GS battery. I still can’t get through the day without plugging mine in. Play NFS on your iPad for one hour, do a little bit of web browsing for 2 hours, and I bet you your battery will be dead before you can update your Facebook status.

The storage limitation sucks! Starting at 16GB, this is a complete joke. If you want me to store my music, videos and photos on your iPad (all this in top of my applications), I’m going to need MUCH more space than the 64GB limit.

Reading books on the iPad sucks! The Kindle might not be dead yet after all. I dare you to read a book on your iPad for more than 2 hours. By that time, your eyes will be crying, you’ll most likely have a headache and feel tired. That’s what computer screen do to you. I’m not a big fan of ebooks (I like the smell and feel of books – call me old school) but I do believe the e-ink feature of the Kindle is much better than what we’ll get on the iPad.

What do you think? Do you think Apple underdelivered with the iPad? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.

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  • Ron

    I understand this is 5 years old, but reading this article and comments are both hilarious and disappointing. Disappointing because the author and commenters highlight the lack of vision and understanding of so many haters out there. The iPad kicks ass at this point and still no USB, but YOU NEVER NEEDED ONE! Apple haters go ahead and continue living in the dark. I spent my life on Windows until I was 35. What a joy to finally switch to Mac! The Time Machine feature alone is worth every extra penny spent on Mac products. I can’t even bring myself to think about all the wasted hours spend trying to make sure everything was backed up properly on my f’ing Windows.

  • Marla Sanger

    It does not work most of the time. Best bet is to get 100.00 tablet and do not waste your money on it. My sweet boyfriend wanted me to have the best so he spent a lot of cash on it

  • suckmydickipad

    I only bought an ipad cus the world ran out of toilet paper

  • suckmydickipad

    anyone thinking of buying one of these techy colostomy bags be prepared to charge your shitbag every hour